I can't

I can't do this anymore. It's too hard. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't keep this up anymore. I want to talk to you about it, but I can't. I can't form these thoughts into words. I can't unload everything onto you. I can't bring you down into my black hole. I can't watch you suffer because of me. We are each given challenges in this life that we must face, this is my challenge. I want to be able to talk to you so you can help me see what I'm doing wrong but I just can't. There is a difference between can't and won't. It's not that I won't talk to you or that I don't want to talk to you, I just can't talk to you. How do I tell you that I'm going crazy? How do I admit that I can't do this on my own? How can I make you suffer through this with me? I've been through hell and and back before why can't I get out this time? Help me see what's making it so hard this time. Why can't I get over it this time. I can't do this to you anymore I've done enough already. I can't ruin your life.
I just can't talk about it.